As long as the wrong feels right
by Wonder Squint
Summary: Ryan was scared that he wouldn't be enough. During a time when Ryan and Hailey are keeping their relationship as secret. Ryan is 21 and Hailey is 28.


**As long as the wrong feels right**

He woke and rolled over to a cold and empty space. She had left him a note. It read. "Dear Ryan, You probably know why I'm not beside you right now and I wish I could have made this note longer but there really are no words. I'm sorry. Goodbye." Hailey had written these words an hour before Ryan had woken up. She re-wrote it many times, and when she had the finished piece, she left.

His heart sank to the pit of his stomach as he read the final word. The word that all those who loved Hailey Nichol had dreaded, feared and expected. And he loved Hailey more than he ever loved anyone. Ryan expected it too but fought so hard to keep her from leaving home again.

He failed.

Finally he dropped the note from his hands and sat up. His clothes were disgarded from his body and spread across the motel room floor. Running a hand through his hair as he sighed deeply, remembering what had happened the previous night.

**~Flashback~**

"_Hailey?" Ryan's curious voice escaped into the motel room as he searched for her. She had called him, asking him to meet her there. She emerged from the bathroom, not meeting his eyes. Something was wrong._

_The blonde sat quietly on the bed, Ryan followed, trying to meet her eyes but she faced down onto her hands. "You alright?" he asked as he took her hand. _

_Hailey jerked her hand away and stood, walking away from him. Ryan was instantly confused. He walked up behind her, waiting for an answer._

"_I can't do this anymore." she breathed. Ryan shook his head with creases forming on his forehead. "What are you talking about?" _

_She turned quickly to stare up into his eyes. She was only a couple inches shorter than he was. "This. Sneaking around. It's not me." Her eyes were sincere and piercing._

_Ryan smiled softly and placed his hands on either side of her face. "Hailey, please, stop it. You're upsetting yourself." He leans in to place his lips onto hers and doesn't make contact. She pulls away from his grasp. _

_Her eyes conveyed such confusion. "You act as though everything is so easy and simple. It's not." He remained in the same position, not moving. "How long can we keep doing this?… How long can you?" She was giving him an ultimatum, to him that was clear._

_He shook his head in disbelief. "I don't want to do this right now, Hailey." he closed his eyes. He was tired and frustrated. He turned to sit back on the bed._

_Hailey followed him and stood in front. "When would be the right time for you, Ryan? We need to talk about this…whatever this is. Where are we going with it?" So many questions, so little tolerance._

_He sighed again and let her rant. "I'm sick of calling each other and planning on where to meet for how long? The longest I remember us being together was seven hours. And for what? Sex and a few meaningful words? Is that all there is?"_

_Ryan squeezed his eyes. "Hailey…please."_

_She sighed angrily and sat down on the other side of the bed. Facing away from him. Silence echoed throughout the room. Ryan eventually shifted on the bed and pulled her to him. "I'm sorry." he whispered into her hair as his arms embraced her form on his chest. "I love you, Hailey. You should know that." he rested his chin on her blonde waves. _

"_I know, I love you too." she shifted her position slightly so she could look at him. "Is that all we have?" _

_He shook his head gently and tucked a thread of her hair behind her ear. "It's all we need." he stated. Ryan took one of her hands and began mindlessly playing with her fingers._

_She watched his actions. "Until when? Until our love isn't enough anymore and we eventually end up hating each other?"_

_He paused._

"_If that's how it's going to be then we might as well quit now."_

"_Stop it!" he yelled, causing her to jump a little. Their legs were tangled together on the bed now. Both fully clothed. "Just stop." he finished in a lower volume. "Hailey, I love you. I'm sure of it. I love being with you and if this is the only way possible then I'll take what I can get." _

_The room was lit with one single light on Hailey's side. It glowed a warm orange-like glow, which illuminated throughout the room. Lights like that normally warmed people's spirits and made them comfortable. They weren't. The tension had been rising the moment Ryan had entered through the door._

"_Is that all you want? You don't want a future together? Just this…now?" She asked with pain._

_She as impossible tonight. They always disagreed with each other and they'd even disagree on disagreeing._

_His grip on her tightened slightly. She didn't notice. "You want to know what I want, Hailey?" his volume rising once again._

_Her eyes became angry at his tone. "Yes!" her volume matching his._

"_What I want is sitting in my arms right now!" Her eyes softened as he continued. " I want you and I have you. Please don't take that away from me. You know how much I need you."_

_And he did need her. So much. She had recently become his lifeline, his backbone. She was his strength and he was her will. _

"_Don't do that. Don't guilt me into staying whenever I need to go." she looked away from him._

"_You don't need to go. Don't run away again. It wouldn't only break my heart but it would kill your sister. She needs you here, Hailey." He seemed to be pleading now and he was. He couldn't let her go. Ryan wouldn't let her go so easily._

_Hailey ignores him and pulls free, turning away again. She stands up and travels over to the other side of the room, sitting down by the small table. She stares out of the window as Ryan watches her._

_He called her name once. She didn't answer. Ryan tried again. Still no answer._

"_Damn it! Hailey!" She looks at him. "Why are you doing this?"_

_Hailey remained silent. Until he moved closer to her and slamming his hand down on the surface of the table. Her eyes were full of tears and anger. "Because I don't want to waste this time if we're not going anywhere from it!" she stood and turned towards the door._

_He hurried and placed his hand on the door to close it back over. Her eyes burned into his then. "Ryan!" she gritted her teeth._

_He pushed her arm away from the door and stood firmly in front of her. His eyes burned into hers as well. Their faces were inches apart and their teeth were grinding with rage. Hailey's chest heaved with frustration as Ryan's fists clenched with anger._

"_Don't do this, Hailey" he said through his teeth._

_She got closer. "Is that a threat?"_

_How could she even think that? He'd never hurt her. Sure he was displaying signs of pure aggression and frustration but he'd never even think of doing that to her._

_His expression deepened into hers. He pushed his body forward slightly, causing Hailey to step back. He shook off her previous remark as she attempted to walk past him and through the door quickly. He wasn't having any of that._

_He gripped her arms, tightly enough to hold her but not enough to hurt her and placed her up against the wall. Trapping her with his body. She tried to push him away from her but his chest hardened onto hers. Pinning her there. His left hand pressed against the wall at her side and the other on her shoulder._

_They said nothing more for another few moments. Their eyes merely burned the others. Like in a staring contest but in this one, no one would be laughing._

_A tear fell. Both bodies softened and relaxed. They exhaled with exhaustion and didn't fight anymore. They didn't move. Only their eyes did. Another few tense moments passed and Hailey was pinned against the wall once again. This time by Ryan's fierce lips and body. She kissed back and began yanking his shirt off._

_They were taking the anger that they had "slightly" conveyed and repressed, and converted it to burning passion. Forcing it upon each other._

_Ryan was holding her right leg around his waist while he kissed along her collar bone, to her neck and shoulder blade. While his lips roamed, her nails dug deep into his now bare back and muscular arms. Finally his lips returned to her own._

_His chest was still pinning her to the wall. She felt it difficult to breathe before and now his mouth was preventing her from feeding oxygen into her body. She pushed him back and onto the bed._

_He plopped up onto his elbows, as she removed her own shirt, revealing her toned flat stomach and perfect breasts, which were guarded by a red lacy bra._

_Now he was getting impatient, seeing her like that. Ryan had, had her so many times but somehow he still wanted more. And vice-versa. He gripped her hips and pulled her onto him. They were both now only in jeans as he flipped her over on the bed. He hovered over her. His lips roamed once again. This time only stopping at the waistband of her jeans. Which he relieved her of swiftly, then his own._

_While he was kneeling above her she thought. _We're doing it again…what we always do. _She was right. The conversation hadn't changed anything, only provoked the inevitable that was making-love. Although, she didn't want to do this right now, she knew she had to. To free the anger and frustration from herself. When she had woken…she'd decide._

_Hailey turned her attention to a now completely naked Ryan who pleaded for her permission to continue. She smiled at his mordacity and enthusiasm and nodded._

_Moments later they were both connected and securely under the mess of blankets. It was rough again. The headboard continuously hitting the wall as Ryan's thrusting commenced. Hailey's hands wrapping tightly around the posts. Her head hitting the pillow hard and tilting back. They hit their peak quickly. Rested for a moment. Started again. _

_This time it was slower, more meaningful and less aggressive. They switch places many times. He had always preferred to be on top. _

_Sweat ran down their faces and oxygen was becoming difficult to locate. Their blonde hair became chaotic and messy. Her nails continued to dig into his skin while his teeth enjoyed biting hers. They had come to realise that both liked it rough but with some feeling. Passion was key._

_Passion escaped their bodies like no other. The beating sound of hearts were partnered with pleasured moans and rapid inhales and exhales._

_There wasn't a part of her that he had left untouched that night. His hands roamed and felt her warmth. Her nails and pounding heart were an indication that he was fulfilling what he'd wanted and needed to. He wanted her to know and feel how much he thrived on her love and all that she could give. He wanted her to know and feel how powerful his love was for her. He succeeded. Hailey felt everything that night, she felt love, passion, depth and mostly…alive. She felt alive like no other time in her life._

_**~End of flashback~**_

They had again reached their climax and fell into each other once again, falling asleep afterwards.

Ryan thought he had gotten through to her. He thought he had given her a reason to stay. He did. She and he both knew he did.

And yet, she wasn't curled up beside him.

She was gone to god only knows where.

He cried for the next hour and didn't move. Hailey was really and truly gone. For how long this time? Or would she ever come back home again? He didn't care. His only desire was to have her with him now.

She was his. He was hers.

Ryan wiped his tears and got dressed. Before he had left the motel room, he glanced back onto the bed where he had last been with his love…His Hailey.

As soon as the sight and memory became unbearable, another tear fell and he slammed the door shut.

**Fin.**


End file.
